Navigating Public Bathrooms Blind

The bathroom. It’s something we all use, but we don’t often talk about the challenges of public bathrooms when you have a disability. Last month a mother of a child who is blind wrote to me and asked about navigating public bathrooms. She asked me the following:

How do you navigate public bathrooms? Are stalls or single bathrooms easier? Any barriers or things that make it easier or more difficult?

For me personally, I hate public bathrooms, but as I have gotten older I have gotten better about handling them. For those of my readers who are sighted, please keep in mind that every blind person has their own way of doing things. What works for me may not work for someone else who is blind. Public bathrooms can be kind of scary and dangerous when you are blind because not everyone is as clean as you might be. When you are blind, you have to touch everything and if the bathroom is not clean, obviously that’s a problem. My disability allows me to use the bathroom on my own, but I feel much safer if someone is with me who can see.


In some situations, I am brought to the door of the bathroom and am left to figure it out with my cane. Because of the mobility challenges I particularly have, it is harder for me to leave a place than it is for me to find it. If someone drops me at the doorway, it is easier for me to meet them in the hallway than it is in a classroom or office I am working in. I can eventually figure out how to do this but it takes me a little while to learn it. If it is a single bathroom I will use my cane from left to right, figuring out where the toilet and sink are located. Once I have oriented myself to the toilet, felt along the left or right for toilet paper, and found the sink, I search with my hands around feeling for soap, paper towels, and use my cane to let me know where on the floor the trash is located. While we’re on the subject of toilet paper, I’m not sure why, but people online like to ask blind people about using it. Please think before you ask your questions. The answer to this question is that we all use it the same way. The only difference is that you with sight might find it quicker with your eyes than we may with our hands. Not many blind people talk about this, so I hope this finally puts this weird question to rest.


I discussed mobility in another blog, but when I was in school, there was only one mobility teacher in Rhode Island teaching everyone from children through college. My mobility teacher would walk around and tell me where everything in the bathroom was. She might direct me by saying something like, “When you walk in, the toilet is straight ahead, the sink is on your right when you first walk in, and the trash is past the sink on your right.” I have heard that some blind people bring Sanitizer because it is easier than trying to find a sink. I have used both, so do whatever works for you. If I am in a stall I use my cane to find the toilet and find the paper with my hand. Of course just make sure you teach your child to feel for the lock on the door. Of course using the bathroom is easier when it is someone you know, but we have to teach completely blind kids that they must use their hands because that is the only way they are going to get important information.


Do I find single bathrooms or stalls easier? I have a hard time answering this question because I find them both challenging. Space wise, because of the mobility challenges I have, single bathrooms are easier for me. I would say single bathrooms are easier because there are not as many stalls to go through to find one that is clean. I can use smaller stalls as well as ones designed for people in wheelchairs. I find smaller stalls easier because they don’t have as much open space.


Any barriers or things that make it easier or more difficult? One barrier that makes any public bathroom difficult is that you don’t know what you’re walking into. If you have complete blindness like myself, (there are different types of blindness) you don’t know if the bathroom you are walking into is clean or if you should find somewhere else to go. If you are alone, you really take a risk and at least for me, pray to God. I hate to say it, but I feel like people are a barrier sometimes. People can be incredibly mean, but they can also be really nice, too. I think honesty can be a challenge. You hope that people are honest about clean bathrooms, but anything is possible. I didn’t go public with this for a while, but I decided to recently at a talk I gave at URI. I’m saying what I’m saying not to get back at anybody, but if it happened to me it can happen to someone else. One day in college, no one told me I had bled through what I was wearing. As blind women we have ways of figuring this out, but we are human and like you who are sighted, sometimes we miss something. I went the entire day, seeing classmates, professors and readers, and nobody said a word until I got home. My mom and I were really upset. I know that the time of the month is an uncomfortable subject depending on your maturity, but don’t. Ever. Be. That. Mean. Just don’t do it. I laugh at myself now because of how much my life changed for the better my final semester, but for the longest time I was not open to having a male reader because that happened. I say that to say, it’s scary to think that if someone could keep that from you, they could also let you figure out the wrong way if a bathroom is clean or not. For every terrible person in the world, there are more nice people. The key is to find them.


I feel safer and find it easier having someone sighted with me who can be my eyes, but it is challenging going with someone you don’t know. One challenge for me was that I wasn’t taught where every bathroom was so to make it faster, I would sometimes ask a classmate to take me. I had an aid when I was in public school as a child, but I was on my own most of the time in college. The hard thing for me was that not many people in college talked to me. This meant I had to ask someone I didn’t talk to for help, hope they were being honest, and I would have to explain that I would need them to wait for me because I did not know how to get back to our classroom.


My final points are these. Society makes disability a huge deal when it doesn’t need to be. Because of this, I think we as people with disabilities are our own barrier sometimes. Because of situations we’ve been through, we start acting like what we are asking for is a big deal when we know it really isn’t. I know that some people have felt funny about who helps them to the bathroom, including myself, and for good reason. We all deserve respect and privacy. A professor friend reminded me we are all the same. We all have to remember that. I have seen blind women who share their story as well say they were concerned about a guy helping them find the bathroom. I was really worried about this when Phillips was new. The thing to remember is you just have to find those people who don’t make you and your decisions into a big deal. We shouldn’t have to publicly thank people, but right now it is more important than ever that we do. We have to show people doing the right thing if we want to change how people with disabilities are treated. Thankfully I found a handful of students in college who my blindness didn’t faze. If a guy ends up helping a woman who is blind like the situation I was in my final semester of college, respect their choices. If they would rather someone go with them to the bathroom, walk around until you can find someone for them because they deserve it. You would want to be treated like a person if you had a disability. Just because you can do something on your own doesn’t mean you should or have to. I’m sure this might upset some rehab teachers in this field, because the disability field has many people who have a “Do it this way or no way” attitude. I’m at a point in life now where I am comfortable saying these things because if you are in the field, you know they are true. I also say this because we’re all adults and we don’t always have to agree with each other. You absolutely need blindness skills, but if you found a way that works for you, you do you and not what someone says you should.


I took my time with this post because I didn’t want to have this discussion with a “here’s what the books say you should do,” approach. Growing up there was not as much available for parents of blind children as there are today. I’m blessed I can use my life to help people and I hope this is helpful to anyone who is raising a blind child or who may have lost their sight. If you lost your sight, please remember that you only lost your physical sight, and that you are still able to keep your vision for life. I’ll end with this. If you are helping someone who is blind or has other special needs, please be that person who says something when everyone else doesn’t. If you are uncomfortable, please find it within yourself to go there because you would want someone to go there for you. After all, you may lose your sight one day when you get older. Trust me, trust me, trust me.


If you liked this post or want me to blog about another topic, you can find me on Twitter at mirandaloakley, on Facebook at Miranda Oakley or please leave me a comment on my website.



Miranda ❤

My Thoughts On In the Dark Episode 7

Boy oh boy was the tea hot in this episode! Let’s break it down. It starts with Murphy going through the possibilities of who killed Tyson. She lines up condiments, pretending they are certain people. For example, she knows Wesley killed her friend, so she uses a bottle of mustard to represent him. Darnell doesn’t buy it at first but then gives it some consideration. Because Wesley is so dangerous, Jess, Max and Darnell tell Murphy not to go to the police. Murphy, being Murphy, ignores them and goes to the cops. I can see them trying to protect Murphy because he is dangerous, but I also completely see Murphy’s side. If it were me, I would go to the police but I would make sure I told them that this person is known for being dangerous. Dean explains that they cannot just arrest Wesley because they need proof he actually killed Tyson. Next, we are in Jail, where Murphy has to listen to six guys say the sentence she heard the night the flower shop owner was killed. We learn that the same gun that killed Devin, the flower shop owner, is the same gun that was used to kill Tyson. Murphy is the one to point out that there is a connection between their killings. I personally believe Wesley killed Devin. One by one, each guy says, “Give me your stash,” the line Murphy heard while in the bathroom the night Devin was killed. She tells Jules Wesley’s voice is number three. I guessed three also so it turns out I was right, too. The crew over at


Had a discussion about how impressed they were that Murphy could hear all those voices and know which one belonged to Wesley. Maybe it’s a blind thing, but I mean, once you know someone’s voice it isn’t hard to know who is who.


Darnell ends up talking to Nia, the businesswoman involved in dealing, and tells her about Wesley. He starts telling Jules how Nia must have bailed Wesley out of jail and takes off. I’m not quite sure what to make of Darnell at this point. Part of me feels like he is trying to figure out who killed his cousin, but part of me also feels like he’s not really that sad about it either. He either doesn’t want to come off too emotional for fear of not seeming like a man, or he killed him and we haven’t learned it yet. I think Nia also has something up her sleeve. She bailed Wesley out of jail because she knows he didn’t kill Tyson or because she knows he did but wants to keep her business running.


We see more of Tyson in this episode which was nice. We learn that he teaches Murphy how to write print and helps her make a birthday card for Jess. Jess tells Tyson that she cried when she got the card because she knows Murphy only lets herself and Tyson help her with things. I liked this because it shows that it is things like the card that make Jess love Murphy. It’s a nice reminder of the good qualities Murphy has inside her. We really see Murphy’s good qualities come out in this episode.


I like how this episode shows more of Felix. He is so cute! How can you not like Felix by this point? He is talking to Murphy’s dad, Hank, who ends up having Felix buy weed for him. Felix freaks out and tells Jess to come with him. Jess has plans to go, but ends up not making it because she’s going after Chloe and Murphy. Felix was funny because he buys the pot from this girl and asks if she was hitting on him. He says that if she is, they can exchange numbers but she says she wasn’t. It is way funnier in the show than reading about it here. We then go back to Felix and Hank smoking. Felix ends up buying Guiding Hope from him and explains to Hank that his family has money. He tells him how he will use his trust fund to buy the company. At first Hank doesn’t believe Felix because he knows how much he pays him to work for him, but later ends up believing him about his family and lets Felix purchase the company.


Dean ends up spending a few hours with Chelsea so Murphy offers to watch Chloe. I love the sister bond shown in this episode between Murphy and Chloe. Murphy tells Dean she and Chloe are going to stay in her apartment, but Chloe convinces her to take her to the mall. At first we see Murphy actually acting responsible, trying to keep them home, but she gives in and this is where things get pretty intense. I feel like I say that for each episode, but it really does get more intense with each one. Chloe expresses to Murphy that she has a crush on a boy named Billy and Murphy tells her that it is people like herself and Chloe who are the coolest. We see Murphy taking on the role of an older sister, offering Chloe advice on how to talk to him, and she takes her to pick out a different outfit from the one her dad picked out for her. Thanks to the awesome YouTube channel mentioned above, the episode shows them feeling for clothes. I liked this mall scene because it shows people that yes, people who are blind actually live normal lives. Billy ends up talking to Chloe, not caring about her blindness, so that was nice. Good for you, kid. Way to be a kind boy.


This next part is where the tea gets pretty hot. And I mean hot! I was freaking out for them! Murphy and Chloe get into what they think is their Uber back to her apartment. Once inside the car, Murphy’s actual driver calls her looking for them. Wesley then pipes up, asking Murphy if she knows his voice. Obviously they are in a scary situation, but Murphy remains calm for Chloe, who is freaking out and keeps asking Murphy what is going on. Tyson teaching Murphy print comes in handy because she ends up writing 911 with red lipstick to get someone’s attention. This episode is when I found myself thanking God Jess put a tracker on Murphy’s phone. I’m sure a lot of people felt that way. Max comes to their apartment, and when he can’t find her, he tells Jess he hasn’t heard from her. Thanks to the tracking app, they figure out Wesley had them and drove to find them. This craziness is what kept Jess from going with Felix like she told him she would. Wesley tells Murphy and Chloe to get out of his car and leaves them in the middle of nowhere. Can you say every blind person’s worst nightmare? Murphy says if he’s going to kill either of them to kill her because Chloe is a kid. He points a gun at Murphy’s head. Chloe freaks out and Murphy tells her to do what he says and get out of his car with her. Max, Darnell and Jess catch up to them and Wesley starts shooting at them. Max and Darnell start punching Wesley. Darnell puts Wesley in Jess’s trunk and naturally Jess tells him not to. Can you really blame her for losing it? Wesley escapes from the trunk, gets hit and run over by a car and dies. I think after the next episode Jess is going to lose it and have enough of the trauma and drama because it scared her so much. Jess has such a strong friendship with Murphy though that even if she takes time away from everything, I think eventually she’ll be back.


Murphy knows Chloe isn’t okay but asks how she is doing anyway. She says she is okay but Murphy tells her that situation they were in was scary and it is okay to be scared. I like how Murphy kept calm for Chloe and reminded her that it’s okay to feel scared. Dean tells Murphy she is no longer allowed to see Chloe. Murphy, being Murphy, tries changing his mind, but Dean tells her again to stay away from him and his daughter. I can’t blame Dean for this and think it was a good idea. It is sad they won’t have that sister bond anymore, but I honestly think it will be short lived. I think at some point we’ll see Chloe and Murphy together again. I feel like Murphy will have to keep seeing Dean anyway because of the Tyson and Devin situation. We find out that there are two people involved in Tyson’s death because the hands that strangled him were from a different person. Part of me wonders if it’s Darnell, and as much as I don’t want to, part of me wonders if it might be Max. I’ve seen this talked about recently and can’t help but wonder if it is him or not. Maybe Max killed him but got with Murphy because he knew people wouldn’t expect it from a guy hanging with a blind girl? Oh God I really hope it isn’t Max! I will say though, Max grew on me these last two episodes, but now I’m back to not really liking him again. He’s still involved with dealing when he said he was going to quit being a part of it. Actions speak louder than words. You’re certainly not proving yourself at this point. Get it together, Max.


Man this episode sure had some pretty hot tea to spill! What did you guys think? If you’re watching the show, do you think Max or Darnell killed Tyson? Anyone else? Whether it is about the show or not, I want to hear from you. What else should I be blogging about? Please let me know by leaving me a comment. Find me on Twitter at mirandaloakley or on Facebook at Miranda Oakley. If you find me on Facebook, please message me and let me know who you are and how you found me. You can also leave me a comment on my website. I reply to each one of them. Also, if you know anyone who might be interested in my blog, please share it with them.

Until the next episode,

Miranda ❤

In the Dark: My Thoughts On Episode 6

Episode six was pretty emotional and intense. It has such good and sad moments! The show gets more intense with each episode. The episode opens with Murphy, Jess and Chelsea catching up in the bar. Chelsea is filling them in on her date with Dean and explain to Murphy that she can’t understand how feeling a dead body didn’t freak her out. Dean appears and Murphy starts making fun of him for liking Chelsea. He mentions that he needs to talk to her and informs her that Tyson is dead. She goes from held together, just trying to figure out what she can, to a complete mess. Can you really blame her though? Losing your best friend is really sad. I would know. I lost one of mine when he was seven and I was eight. She finds out that Tyson was shot in the forehead. A couple of times throughout the episode we see her feeling extremely guilty for leaving him alone in the alley. She ends up leaving with Jess, who tells her that there are cops around because they’re trying to figure out what happened. Murphy tries smoking and is told to leave by an officer because the alley was turned into a crime scene. Murphy flips out and demands to stay in the alley for a smoke. The officer arrests her and Jess explains that she can’t see and is begging to find out what is happening to her friend.


Dean ends up dropping the charges against Murphy, but he and Jules end up questioning her again about the night she felt Tyson in the alley. Tyson’s father was also questioned and said that Tyson said he was afraid someone was going to kill him. The father, Jamie, mentioned how he told Murphy he didn’t know where he was to get whoever was looking for him to stop. He said how he thought Murphy and her boyfriend, Max, may have been out to kill Tyson. What? I’ve recently read on the shows Facebook that other viewers think Max may have killed him. This recent episode made me love Max so I’ve been pondering if it was him or not. I really need to know! In this episode Murphy breaks up with Max and I’m not here for it at all. Girl, he was trying to be such a good boyfriend! I mean, I get you’re in pain, but I was starting to like the dude. Lots of people seem to like him after that episode actually. He tries to be there for her like her friends, but she pushes him away. I will say though, Max really surprised me in this episode. I follow comments about the show and it appears others were surprised by his recent behavior as well. For the most part we’ve seen Max as a carefree dude but not too deep. But then this episode happened. Okay where did this wicked deep side of you come from? Murphy made me laugh when Max said he knew she was in rough shape and she said she was trying to get to the gym. She’s always keeping it light isn’t she? He tries giving her a hug and offering himself to her to talk. She tells him she will feel better if he has sex with her. Okay, I realize this next part of my opinion might offend people. Max refuses sex and tells her he won’t have sex with her because she is using that to avoid her feelings. Okay, what? Forgive me for offending anyone if I do here, but since when does a guy talk about feelings? Let alone actually dealing with them!!!! Not often. I find we’re wired much differently that way, but of course this is my blog sharing my own thoughts. His behavior just surprised me, especially coming from a young guy. Murphy gets upset he won’t have sex and breaks up with him. I can’t believe it! Did I mention I’m not here for it?


I loved how this episode had so many scenes with flashbacks of Tyson. They showed video clips of Murphy and him at the lake and playfully rapping among a few others. His mom ends up giving Murphy some of his ashes because it was tradition for their family to give other members ashes. It was really touching when Murphy went in the lake to remember Tyson and let his ashes go. It was pretty funny that she went in with the tag still on her bathing suit. Girl, did you really plan on returning that? Pretty sure that wouldn’t work out too well for you. Let’s back up and talk about how the funeral was really sad to watch. Did I mention this was a heavy episode? Previously Murphy wasn’t planning on going to the funeral. She was in the bathroom of the bar having sex with this guy she met a couple of times. The guy freaks out and leaves so Murphy meets up with Dean and Chelsea. Dean tries to comfort her by telling her how hard it was when his wife died but seeing all the people who loved her and were touched by her really helped him. He offers to take her, but she decides they wouldn’t want a cop there so she says she’ll go alone. Once inside the funeral, Murphy finds Max and Jamie. She is drunk and upset and Max tries to calm her. When she realizes she’s hearing Jamie’s voice, she flips out. She argues with him about how he lied to her about his son. I understand being upset, but I also understand why his mom made her leave. Once outside, she starts smoking and is greeted by Darnell, Tyson’s cousin. In case you couldn’t tell by now, I’m not really a Darnell fan. I will say though, I did like the bonding they had in this episode though. Murphy explains to Darnell that she feels guilty because if she wasn’t herself, Tyson would still be alive. Darnell says he is the guilty one because he made Tyson deal in that spot that night. I can’t blame either of them for feeling guilty. I would feel guilty too if I were either of them.


The episode ends with Murphy going back to visit Max. If you were surprised by this, so was I and others were too. The fact that Murphy went back to him and gave him a hug was shocking and quite a big step for her. Max tells Murphy it isn’t okay for her to push the relationship away and keep coming back when something is wrong and she explains she had the worst day of her life. She doesn’t actually say sorry but you can tell she was about to. I’ve always said (and have been saying it a lot lately actually) that actions speak louder than words. I think her hug is a better way to apologize anyway. Max leaves because he has company. Murphy hears yelling and asks Max who it was. Max keeps telling this person to come back another day. Thanks to visual help on YouTube, I learned that Wesley, the guy Tyson used to hang out with and one of the dealers, has brought Max money. Max, to me, seems a little nervous telling Murphy it was Wesley who he was talking to. Murphy then tells him she knew from his voice that it was Wesley who killed Tyson. I know this next episode is going to be wicked intense! Are you watching the show? Let’s talk. Anything else I should be blogging about? Please let me know. Leave me a comment on my website or find me on Twitter at mirandaloakley. You can find me on Facebook at Miranda Oakley as well, but please send me a message telling me who you are and how you found me.


Miranda ❤


In the Dark: My Thoughts On Episode 5

Episode five was pretty intense. I realize I’m behind and hope to have a post written about episode six this weekend or published later today. Episode five begins with Murphy having a pregnancy scare. Obviously there are plenty of blind mothers, but I think the show does a good job at capturing some of the challenges brought on because of blindness. Murphy needs Jess’s eyes to help figure out if she is pregnant. This speaks to the privacy blind women require in certain situations. I think this is a good time for people to put themselves in the shoes of a woman who is blind. Sadly, I can see this scene giving sighted people a reason to pity us. Instead, I think this should start a conversation about how important trust is and what real friendship and support looks like. Yes, I’m blind and I just said the word look. Lots of blind people use that word and others like it actually, so you should too when you are around them. Really, it’s okay. There’s this wonderful YouTube channel called

They have actually really been helping me with visual aspects of the show I’ve been missing. You can tell sometimes they really aren’t educated about blindness which is why this show is so important. The hosts talk about how hard it would be to do certain things blind. Blindness certainly does have its challenges, just don’t start feeling bad about it or for the people who cannot see, okay? Otherwise it’s a great channel. I’d love to talk about the show with them, so please tweet them for me. You can find their Twitter here:

I heard from Benny once saying he’d check out my blog, so I’m going with the positive approach and saying he has. You can find his Twitter here:

You can also find Bethanie’s Twitter below:

I’d love to be on the show sometime so please tweet them for me. I would really appreciate it and I think it would also be a good opportunity to have a great discussion about blindness. I mean, I do know a thing or two about that.


While we’re on the subject of blindness and blind parents, can we please stop it with everyone freaking out over blind women becoming moms? It happens so often and really, please calm down. Even sighted women go through times when they’re wondering if they are fit to bring a child into the world. Being blind certainly adds to it though. Is the new mother living in an area with good transportation? They would wonder about work because that’s a really low thing blind people deal with, but trust me, people freaking out over blind women learning how to parent really needs to stop. In the fifth episode we really get to see Jess and Murphy being human. This episode made me really feel for Felix. I’m using the word really a lot, wow. As is typical of each episode, Murphy is still trying to figure out what happened to Tyson. She meets Dean in a bar and he tells her he believes that a drug dealer ran Tyson out of town. I have to say, Dean can be quite funny and awkward sometimes when he’s trying to date. He seemed as if he was going to ask Murphy out, but Max showed up and I was surprised Murphy acknowledged that he was her boyfriend. I thought it was funny that Max told Dean she was getting used to having a boyfriend.


Jess and Murphy are trying to piece together what happened to Tyson and when he started working at the flower shop. Jess expresses to Murphy that she believes Tyson could have been unconscious, came to and ran off. Murphy and Jess go to the flower shop so Murphy can get information about her friend. Murphy later tells Jess she needs to find a way to feel a dead body to make sure Tyson was dead like she thought because he was the only dead person she had touched. Later in the episode we learn a lot about Felix. He comes from a rich family and feels like everyone treats him like a job. How sad. No one should be made to feel like they’re a burden or just someone’s job, but sadly this is something a lot of people with disabilities can relate to. Felix explains that his uncle is passing away and that he felt as though his uncle was the only one in his family who really cared about him.


Jess and Murphy show up at his house and play it off as if they are there to comfort him. Jess went along with Murphy as she always does, but she actually feels sad for Felix. The women meet Felix’s mom and she talks to them about how he isn’t good at much but has better things to say about his siblings. She comments about his work at the pet store and Murphy explains that he works to help give people service animals, herself included. Jess points out that Felix works hard, but it’s sad to see the relationship that he has with his mother. You’re his mother and you don’t have a clue about what your son does for a living? Hello? Yeah that’s definitely not something you should be proud of.


Felix, Jess and Murphy have consumed quite a bit of alcohol and he figures out that they are only spending time with him so Murphy can feel his uncle’s dead body. Of course he gets upset and makes them leave. Can you blame him? Do we even need to talk about how hurtful that is? Somebody hug Felix, please! This episode really brings out the human side of Jess and Murphy and does an incredible job of showcasing the girl’s true friendship. Once they left, Jess yells at Murphy for how she has treated Felix. She tells Murphy that she can’t be like her and go around feeling dead bodies and hurting people like it is nothing. She explains to Murphy how awful it is that she has been ignoring Max’s calls, especially because she might be carrying his baby. We finally see Murphy break down a little and explain to her best friend that she has thought about possibly having a baby all day and she can’t imagine passing on her messed up jeans to anyone else. She tells Jess that when she says, “messed up jeans,” she’s not talking about her blindness. I love this because sighted people think blindness is so horrible when it really doesn’t have to be. The girls apologize to Felix and Jess stays with him to make him something to eat and some tea. She tells him he will be okay and we see her meet Felix exactly where he is. We all need a friend in our lives like that don’t we? This episode made me love Jess so much! I think it is really important that Jess has been so blunt with Murphy because true friends love you enough to be that straight forward.


Next I want to talk about Max and Darnell. Darnell is one of those characters I don’t typically like. I didn’t really care for Murphy too much in the beginning of the show and I certainly didn’t quite know what to make of Max at first. The more I watch though, the more I like them. In this episode we learn that Darnell has loved the cop, Jules, he has been sleeping with since he was a teenager. What? Darnell is out with Jules when he gets a call that the place they were dealing drugs was busted. Jules, being a cop, is always conflicted between protecting Darnell and doing the right thing as an officer. Darnell tries telling her to act as though she heard nothing, but she tells him she can’t not hear what she heard. Speaking of Darnell’s forceful behavior, he tells Max he is no longer allowed to be with Murphy. Max tells Darnell that he is no longer going to make money for him and that he is not walking away from Murphy. Now that is a real man right there. We should be applauding Max for setting boundaries with Tyson’s cousin and telling him he is giving up dealing for the woman he loves.


Now I want to talk about the final flower shop scene. Murphy finally calls Max and he tells her that the flower shop is a drug front. Murphy makes her way to the shop, confronts the owner and again tries getting information about her friend. In this moment she learns she really isn’t pregnant. When she is in the bathroom, she realizes something terrible is going on. Thanks to After TV Buzz, I figured out that the visual information I missed was Murphy taking her dog and standing on top of the toilet. I knew she was doing something because she told him, “Up,” but the channel helped me with clarification. Murphy calls 911 but I’m not sure why she doesn’t do it right away. The hosts on After Buzz TV were talking about how Murphy has to use her phone by voice, but this isn’t always the only way for her to use it. See? This is why I want to talk to them so badly! For anyone who might think like them, let me explain. Other than talking to her phone, there is another way to use voice technology by swiping and tapping the numbers on the keypad followed by tapping the call button, so she could’ve done that. She was put on hold which is weird, so she calls Dean. He was at a bar on a date with Chelsea, the bartender. I like Chelsea’s character a lot actually. I think Dean and Chelsea are interesting. Dean has Murphy feel the person to figure out if they are still alive. It turns out that the owner of the flower shop was shot. Murphy ended up feeling another dead body besides Tyson’s, but what a crazy way to get what she wanted!


Have you watched In the Dark? What are your thoughts on the show? A huge thank you to After Buzz TV for helping me with the visual aspects of the show I’m missing. I would love to talk about the show on one of your episodes! Is there anything else I should be blogging about? Please leave me a comment on my site, find me on Twitter at mirandaloakley or on Facebook at Miranda Oakley. If you find me on Facebook, please reach out and tell me how you found me. Thanks for reading. I know it was a long one.


Miranda ❤

Living Fearlessly

Happy Monday! Today’s post is a throwback to an article I wrote for Perkins back in 2015. Currently, I’m working on my book and wrote a chapter due out next year for a textbook all about social justice in education. I write to raise awareness and to help people. College was one of the most exhausting and lowest points in my life. God turned it around for me and blessed me with some wonderful people who changed it all for me. School was certainly not easy but definitely worth it. I want to be a voice and use my story to show people no matter what, it always gets better. If college is something you want for yourself, definitely go for it. The struggle is real lots of the time, but with the right support you can make it. Yes, even with horrible people who don’t understand. And yes, you can survive and overcome terrible services.


Since I started this blog a year ago and have been blessed with readers and followers from around the globe, I figured I would share this article.

I hope and pray this article helps some of you. Fun personal fact: When the title of this article was suggested, of course I said to myself, “Oh hey! Fearless is the name of one of Taylor’s songs!” Have you heard “Fearless”? Do you like it? Let’s talk! A huge thank you goes out to Perkins School for this opportunity. Is there anything you’ve gone through that wasn’t easy but you became stronger because of it? How has God blessed you recently? I want to hear all about it! Find me on twitter at mirandaloakley, leave me a comment here on my site, or find me on Facebook at Miranda Oakley. If you reach out to me on Facebook, please send me a message telling me who you are and how you found me. Thanks and have a great week.

Miranda ❤

My ThoughtsOn In the Dark Episode 4

This post is a bit late because I just now figured out how to search in the app for the episodes of the show. If you search the CW app for the title of the episode you will find it. I missed last week’s episode and just got caught up. Let me quickly add here though I forgot to mention something I liked in the third episode. A big thank you shout out goes out to my twin for reminding me about that! When Murphy was hanging out with the high school girls instead of being at the assembly to raise money for the guide dog school her parents work at, the girls took time to tell Murphy what she looked like. One of them even told her she was obsessed with her hair which I thought is such a young girl thing to say. I really liked how they told her what she looked like. Moving on now to episode number four. What an episode! Holy cow, my brain! The episode was all over the place which means this post will be that way as well. Let’s get into it.


The episode begins with a playful interaction between Tyson and his mother. She is teasing him about going on a date, but she realizes that she has in fact been in the dark about her son’s involvement with drugs. This is really sad and any good mother would be upset about it. Then we switch to Max, Murphy’s boyfriend, cooking for them and her roommate and best friend, Jess. The friendship between Murphy and Jess is starting to remind me of my friendship between my good friend Helene and me. When Jess helps Murphy get food, part of me has split feelings on this. Murphy can do things on her own so I feel like Jess should be careful, but at the same time, we all need help sometimes. My favorite part of the cooking scene was when Max tries telling Murphy where her water is on the table by saying, “It’s right there.” Jess responds by telling Max that Murphy doesn’t know what that means. She was so quick about it that it gave me a good laugh. Jess is a little snapfire! Is that a thing? I don’t know, but she’s a little sassy! I thought of Helene because she would have taken it upon herself to educate people that good, clear directions are helpful.


There is a flashback to this guy getting shot and Tyson’s cousin taking him away from the situation as quickly as possible. This made me believe that Tyson killed this person, but later in the episode his cousin says Tyson witnessed this guy getting killed. The female cop and Chloe’s dad are trying to figure out who shot this person and Chloe’s father sees a connection between the two cases. He tells the female cop the ways in which he believes this shooting and Tyson missing are related and she tells him not to talk to Tyson’s cousin about Tyson at all. She wants him to focus on this case but he’s doing what any good cop should do and discuss any connections he may have found. In the episode we find out that the female cop is sleeping with Tyson’s cousin so that explains her behavior. Crazy!


Murphy obviously still wants to know what happened to her friend, so she tries talking Jess into going to see Jamie, believed to be Tyson’s girlfriend. Jess cannot bring Murphy so she has Max take her. Jess tells her this isn’t a good idea but she does it anyhow. When Murphy and Max arrive at Jamie’s house, Murphy starts talking to this girl as if she’s Jamie. Girl you should never assume! She was definitely being pushy. This girl’s dad comes out and asks them to leave and tells them he’ll call the police if they don’t. Murphy talks to the father a little more and finds out that he is Tyson’s father. He tells her that Tyson is alive, he quit his job and left town. We learn that Chloe’s father has a thing for Murphy. What? This would be an interesting relationship if Murphy ever dated him, but she would definitely need to grow up first.


Something else interesting is Chloe hanging out with Murphy at her house. Chloe says she knows Murphy didn’t just come over to eat and spend time with her, she knew she was up to something. Murphy and Chloe end up using her dad’s police computer to get Jamie’s address so Murphy can go find out some more information about Tyson. Chloe tells Murphy she’ll help her with her dad’s computer because she would’ve just been with her babysitter. What? Chloe is fourteen! She definitely doesn’t need a babysitter! A lot of people are really funny about leaving blind people alone though. In a house, an apartment, in college, people get weird. I remember in college this one girl would call my reader and friend to tell her I was in the hallway. I understand trying to help, but do you think that she can make it across campus any faster? In this episode we see some invasion of privacy going on. Murphy lies to her mother and says she’s missing the puppy graduation at the guide dog school because she has decided to get herself into therapy. Girl, don’t you need it! Her mother later finds out from another coworker, Felix that she is actually with her boyfriend. Murphy’s mom, not knowing Murphy had a boyfriend, goes through Jess’s phone and finds Max’s number. Jess keeps her from calling him by telling her stories about where Murphy is. Jess then admits she put a tracking app on Murphy’s phone so she could see where her best friend and Max went. I have mixed feelings on this. I understand being concerned and looking out for someone’s safety, but I also feel like tracking someone and someone going through your phone is invading someone’s privacy. Unless you really can’t, find another way to get Max’s number and any addresses you might need. Murphy isn’t twelve. What I want to know though, is how does Murphy not know Jess put a tracking app on her phone? She uses speech! The only way she might not know is if Jess put the app on a page of apps she knows Murphy wouldn’t check. Even though part of me thinks it is an invasion of privacy, I do understand safety absolutely comes first. Blind women have a high chance of being assaulted, so I get it. I see both sides to this.


There were two points during this where Murphy’s sarcasm made me laugh. Murphy needs to use the bathroom and Max asks her if she needs help. She says something along the lines of, “Yes, I’ve never peed a day in my life”. To be honest, there isn’t many things I like about Murphy, but I’m waiting to see what else they do with her character. She is crazy! Somehow she gets the lock on the stall stuck and ends up crawling on the floor to get out. Max comes in because she was in there a long time and tries to help her. Instead of acting like a normal person and taking him up on it, she yells at him for being in a woman’s bathroom and tells him she doesn’t want his help. Hello? Girl! Get out your phone and call your boyfriend. Tell him you’re stuck. Or you know, make some noise with your cane so someone knows you’re having issues and you clearly need some help. She has way too much pride going on.


Another time we see Murphy acting crazy is when she and Max are out to eat. He offers to help her and again she doesn’t take it. He suggests she take her cane and she responds with, “I can hear the china!” Are you out of your mind? She puts her hands all over the food and asks someone about the food she has. You do not go putting your hands on everything in public like that! You definitely should have gotten help instead. Max isn’t the only one who tries helping her get food and she refuses again. Max and Murphy start fighting and they’re asked to leave. Can you really blame them? I’d kick them out too. The manager places his hands on Murphy and tells her she needs to leave. She hits him and Max reminds him she has asked him not to touch her. She also hits Max by mistake thinking it was the manager. Girl, that’s twice now you have hurt your boyfriend! I understand looking beyond someone’s baggage, but what is wrong with Max that he is with someone this crazy? Max freaks out because the police are now involved and he has a record. Murphy speaks to the officer and turns the whole thing around. Instead of talking about her crazy behavior, she tells the cop that the place is not accessible, she didn’t have a Braille menu and plays it off as though she was the one getting hurt. We knew she was manipulative didn’t we?


I want to talk about Max. I don’t like that he has a record, that’s never good. That aside, I am liking Max a lot more than I did in the last episode where I didn’t quite know what to make of him. I can appreciate Max because he got the memo on when to offer help and when not to. I think that he has his crazy moments too though. Let’s talk about the time he let Murphy drive his car. He hardly told her what to do. They almost got into a crash. That’s just crazy, especially on a busy, open road. Let’s back up to the bathroom scene again for a second. When Max leaves Murphy, he is told to move his car. He tells the mechanic to tell Murphy he moved his car. Dude. Your girlfriend is blind. He should have moved his car, come back to wait for her and either physically or voice guided her to the vehicle. Murphy comes out of the bathroom and asks where Max went. As typical of a sighted person, the mechanic says, “Over there,” and she is trying to figure out where “over there” is. She did ask but she should have been much better about that. She should have said she is blind and explained that she has no clue what “over there” means. She makes her way outside looking for her boyfriend and almost gets hit by a car. Max runs out to grab her and they yell at the driver. Again though, Max should have at least given her some information about where he was. I know they were fighting, but that wasn’t cool. The last point where Murphy’s sarcasm made me laugh is when they were crossing a street after she almost got hit by a car. Max tells her she can take his arm and offers to help her cross the street. She comments how she has never crossed a street in her life and that she doesn’t need his help. Girl, you almost got hit by a car! I’d take help after that! She needs to calm down. His background aside, Max really does have the perfect balance of helping and not helping.


Lastly, I want to talk about the puppy raiser who had difficulty giving up the dog she had. This woman observes that Murphy left her guide dog, Pretzel, at the school all day so she must not have really needed him. Murphy mentions that she almost died and if she had her dog that wouldn’t have happened. I thought this was good because just because somebody doesn’t always take their dog or cane everywhere doesn’t mean they don’t completely need them. The woman tells Felix and Jess that the dog has a problem because he begs for food. She expresses how she plans on keeping the dog and Felix goes right into the fact that she signed a contract so she isn’t able to keep him. I mean, okay, but you couldn’t start off by saying how giving them back is hard so you could understand why she’d be emotional? Way to go by the books dude! Murphy’s mom talks to this woman about how rude her daughter is and unloads everything on her about Murphy going with Max. This was a bit weird, but if you look under it all, you’ll be able to see she was trying to say in a very strange way that letting go is hard. It is hard for her to let go of Murphy and let her go with people she doesn’t know, and it’s hard for this woman to let go of the dog she’s helped raise.


For those of you watching the show, what do you think of it so far? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Is there anything else I should be blogging about? Please let me know. Leave me a comment right here on my website or find me on Twitter at mirandaloakley. I’m also on Facebook at Miranda Oakley, but I just ask that if you send me a friend request that you send me a message and tell me who you are and how you found me.


Miranda ❤

Seeing AI App Helps Blind Girl With Organization

Happy Thursday!

I thought I would write a post about an App that helped me with some organization recently. These days, we have so many different tech apps assisting the blind. While I personally believe that sometimes there’s nothing like human eyes, I think the apps are great when they work and am always happy to use them when I can. Plus this way we don’t always have to wait for busy people with working eyes. I’ve found that sometimes the Seeing AI app doesn’t always work. When it does though, I’m happy I downloaded it. Seeing AI is an app that uses artificial intelligence to read certain documents by taking a picture or it will read products. There are a few different channels you can choose from. Short text, documents, products, just to name a few. You can find the app here and learn about the other channels and try it for yourself.

A fellow user once told me Seeing AI works well when you have the channel on short text and I’ve found that to be true. Like with any app that uses your phone’s camera, lighting is important.


I had a ton of different bottles in my bathroom cupboard and of course I didn’t know which one was which. Yesterday afternoon I finally decided I would organize them. This may be obvious, but everyone is different, so just to be safe I’ll say it here. If you do what I did and place your phone on the counter as you get something different for it to read, always make sure where you put your phone isn’t wet. Just to be safe because you never know. Waterproof cases and all, it’s better to be safe. I placed the bottle of whatever I had on my counter and held my phone a little above it. Holding your phone so the camera is in the correct place definitely can take some practice. Seeing AI allowed me to put my conditioner in one basket, shampoo in another right behind my conditioner and put my body wash against the right side of my cupboard in a row. I was happy to finally have everything in a place I could easily know what I was grabbing when I need it. I hope this post is helpful to some of you. Have any helpful apps or organizational tips to share? Let’s connect! Sharing tips helps everyone. Is there anything you’d like me to write about that I haven’t touched upon already? Please let me know. You can find me on Facebook at Miranda Oakley; I just ask that you please tell me who you are and how you found me so I know who you are when you try and connect with me. You can reach out to me on Twitter at mirandaloakley or you can leave me any comments you may have on my website. I’d love to hear from you! Have a great day!

Miranda ❤